so today:

1/2 bagel- 145
Manderine oranges- 70
orange juice- 55

Lunch: nada

Dinner: taco-
(i decided that i would eat regular dinners, and keep up the whole negative calories thing.. but, usually it would be without the begal, but you know..)

well, i worked hard all day (to help my mom set up her new class room) and then i had football practice. and although i don't do much, at least i'm not sitting around.. i'm moving a bit.

and anyways, i got onto the scale and i lost 3 pounds. i don't believe it, or understand it! i'm just so happy about it. you can't even imagine! i mean thats 3 pounds in about 2 days! i want to know how/why this happened, so i can keep doing it! amazing. so hopefully, i'll be able to put a weight lower than my current weight up soon, proudly (rather than 135.5 )

anyway, i hope you all are doing well!

the other day, i had a great lunch. it was all fruit, and they all were 'negative calories'.. so that was good.

anyways... i'm trying to get back into this habit.. so today:

breakfast:
1/2 begal- 145
manderine oranges- 70 (negative cals-i don't know how to find out cals            burned from that...)
orange juice- 100
a few sips of coffee- 30

lunch: nada

Dinner:

Total: 345

burned: about 212

unburned: 133

i'll update later for the rest of my day. hopefully, dinner will go well : D

well, today was my first day back from being on a 'mini vaca.' with my boyfriend.  it was fun and now i must begin once again, which hopefully will prove to be more successful for me.

i've decided that i need to set realistic goals for myself until school starts. Once school starts it will be so much easier to skip meals and whatnot. Plus, i'll hopefully have a job and that will occupy time when i can't eat as well.

so here are a few things i've decided to do for myself:

no more sugary treats
soda (including diet sodas because carbination can make you bloated)
salt (anything salty)
fried food
anything else that really stands out like those?

i am going to drink more water (8-10 glasses a day because it raises metabolism by 3% and burns calories-- and i'm going to try to make that ice cold water every hour or so because it will make me feel fuller and again goes with the whole burning more calories thing) 
and eat more fruit than I have been. I'm going to skip breakfast, exercise instead, have a small lunch (fruit, salad, yogurt, etc.) and then have a regular dinner (since i have to eat with my family), before i go to bed i'd also like to do sit-ups or something. oh yeah, and also i'm going to start taking my dog for a walk in the afternoon (however, if i do start to work, assuming that i get a job soon, this will be altered a bit, but i plan on doing this!)

i have to get myself determined again, i need to remember how happy i was when the scale was in the 120s! and how i want to go shopping and buy things and have them look good on me. and how i miss the pool and would love to be able to go there again. and how i would love to know that i do have some self control, because boy do i need that reassurance.

oh goodness. wish me luck..

thinspiration anyone?

 Rolling Stone calls her "the most beautiful girl in the world"

hope you all are doing well.

OH GOD! i need help.

i don't have time to make a post like i want to. so i will be back. just thought i'd let you know i'm still alive, fat, but living.

heres a convo i had this morning:

A: i saw your penn state pics you look good
A: did you loose weight?
me: no, i wish, i think pretty much all summer i've just gained. its gross. but thanks.
A: well it doesnt show
A: actually i dont remember who, but a few people have asked me that, towards the end of the year, they said you looked thinner

God, i wish i was thinner.